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When things don’t go my way, I feel an irresistible urge to whine and complain.

I become angry when others don’t speak English.
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If I can’t order a triple latte with low fat milk and extra foam, my day is ruined.

If I can’t pronounce it, I won’t eat it.

If there is a blackout, I won’t leave the hotel until I can use my hair dryer.

I believe that tap water should be trustworthy.

God has two arms.

In order to remain calm, I must have a side order of fries with my dinner.

None of the food groups on my plate should touch one another.

I avoid using squat toilets because I’m afraid I’ll fall in.

If you answered yes to most of the above questions, maybe
you should consider a trip to Miami Beach instead of India.

If you answered no to most questions, congratulations,
you've gotten this far. Now proceed to PART 2.

It would be an adventure for me to sit on the floor and eat my dinner off of a banana leaf.

I’m willing to get up at 3 in the morning if that’s the only way to make a train connection.

I’m not afraid to wander and explore on my own.

I am able to ask for help and support if I don’t feel good emotionally or physically.

I am willing to help and support the people I am traveling with when they don’t feel well emotionally or physically.

I am comfortable travelling in the company of men and women of mixed sexual orientations and marital status.

I tend not to be scatologically phobic.

I will know I’m no longer in Kansas after I’ve seen a yogi lift a 90 pound cement block with his lingam (really....see picture to the left).

I would prefer to run with the naked yogis than the bulls in Pamplona.

I would welcome an invitation to join a holy man in his hut for meditation.

When I smell the burning dung used to heat houses, I think, “Isn’t that inventive!”

I know that love in India never means having to say you’re sari.